My Support System

Along with my faith in God, my husband's sense of humor kept my spirits from staying down too terribly long.  I remember going to Sam's Club.  I asked him to drop me off at the door because I knew I couldn't walk across the distance of the parking lot.  I don't know why it embarrassed me, but using the electric carts always did - even though I knew I had no choice.  This particular time he walked through the door after parking the truck with his camera on and started videoing walking around me 360 degrees in the cart and describing the specs like he was a race commentator and I was just waiting for the shot to start.  He followed me into the store commenting on the turn radius and the power.  He was always egging me to make it beep when people blocked the aisle.  If I wouldn't, he would mimic the sound and pretend I did it. I couldn't help but laugh, relax and enjoy the ride.  

Did you know that if you don't have a person who will commit to being a 24 hour/day caregiver, you have very little chance of being listed for liver transplant?  My mother became my dedicated caregiver and legal guardian.  She and Dad would care for me around the clock in the months following transplant.  In the meantime I came to rely heavily on my daughter for moral support, my son to drive me to appointments, act as a nurse, grocery shop, menu plan and cook, while my husband kept the household afloat.

Outside of my immediate family, I also had a strong support network.  My minister, his wife and my church family held me up in prayer, brought meals, sent cards and words of encouragement.  My Facebook friends became a huge support.  At times I would be overwhelmed with gratitude to know how many people and entire churches across the country and around the world were praying specifically for me.  My coworkers were all rooting for me and encouraging me as well.  I felt humbled and loved to have so many people in my life who cared about me.

Throughout the first half of 2020, my strength diminished very quickly.  I stayed working as long as I could, but everything was getting foggy.  I realized I was having difficulty when I tried to create lecture videos.  My sentences were getting broken, pauses very long, and I didn't always hold to a train of thought.  I was putting files in the wrong folders on the computer and really struggling to focus.  By the end of February, I knew it was time to quit working and rest.  By May I had quit driving, getting groceries or going anyplace that didn't have an electric cart. Even then I'd often stay sitting in the truck when my husband went into stores.  I wanted to be out of the house in the sunshine, but that was even taxing on my strength.

The couch, my hammock swing and my hammock became my life. I didn't want to just give up, so I planted a container garden to give myself something small to do that was enjoyable - although to be honest, my son did most of the planting. I mostly watched the vegetables grow and watered them twice a week.  I watched tons of cooking and gardening videos online, I called and talked to my mom and my daughter nearly every day, and tried to do things daily that made me feel like I had accomplished something.  In time, my To Do list shrank to one thing, but I did give myself grace.  I knew how much effort that one thing took for me to accomplish.  

My Family Support System

    

Caregivers/Guardian:  Mom and Dad

Nurse and Helper:  Andrew

Inspiration:  Kaya, Noa and Isla (This is the photo I made my phone wallpaper to remind myself why I was fighting during the hard times... and to show off to all of the nurses and doctors. lol)

Spirit Elevator and Stabilizer:  Wayne

Medical Advisor and Spokesperson:  Anita