This post is hard for me to write. I've started writing it three times... and broke down in tears remembering. Even though this is the most emotionally painful moment in my life, it is also the source of the greatest gratitude of my life. Every time I'm together with my kids and grandchildren this event makes those moments we share so much more precious!
The week of July 4th is our usual family vacation week. In 2020 the kids came home. By then I was too sick to travel. I did my best to enjoy every minute, but I was so sick. On July 4th we rented a pontoon boat to enjoy the afternoon on the lake. I remember laying in the boat and just watching my family around me. In my heart, I was crying. By the end of the day, I was so sick I had to go the emergency room. We were only 3 days into vacation. The image of my kids and grandkids standing on the porch and waving goodbye is etched into my brain. The reality that this moment could very well be the last I would ever see or hug them, and the last memory my grandbabies would have of me, hit me like a tsunami. I was overwhelmed and emotionally crushed when we pulled out of the driveway that day.
My transplant coordinator had told me that I could go the UPMC facility emergency room, but if my MELD score was 22 or above, I needed to be transferred to Cleveland. Once again, the medical team didn't understand MELD, but they did a wonderful job of catching up on it and contacting the transplant team. I was taken to Cleveland via ambulance. After a day or so, it became clear that I would not be going home to finish the vacation, so Anita and her family headed back to North Carolina. Vacation was over.
At the hospital, they discovered that my kidneys were failing (Stage 3) and my heart was struggling because of the massive amount of fluid my body was retaining. I was puzzled because I was taking diuretics and on a restricted fluid intake and following it closely. One doctor explained that my red blood cells weren't able to retain their water and fluid was being distributed into all of my tissue. I stayed for a week while they gave me dialysis and IV diuretics. My fluid levels came down a bit and my kidney function stabilized. I was thankful to be going home again.
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